


As Luck Would Have It

by distant_rose



Series: Little Pirates [7]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: An attempt at somewhat realistic sexy times, Captain Swan Children, Coitus Interruptus, Dramatic Killian is dramatic, F/M, Hostile takeover staged by small children, Interrupting Children, Killian is a bit cranky, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 14:49:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11129037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distant_rose/pseuds/distant_rose
Summary: In which Killian wishes to engage in more enjoyable activities and his children have other plans. Needless to say small children can lead to certain frustrations, particularly when they want to sleep in beds that don't belong to them. (Tumblr prompt)





	As Luck Would Have It

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr prompt from killianspoptarts: "a fic when har, wes, and beth walk in on emma and killian doing.......y'know.... ;)?"
> 
> Not entirely smut, because I’m rusty in regards to my adultish writing, but definitely a bit naughty. (thanks again @welllpthisishappening for reading bits of this and giving me feedback. You are my compass and I am lost without you.)

“Emma…”

She awoke to Killian placing soft kisses behind her ear and his thumb worrying a circle into her hipbone, flirting with the side of her underwear. Upon sensing she was more or less conscious, the kisses got a bit rougher, turning into little nips as his teeth scraped gently across the skin followed by the faint but pleasant scratch of his beard. Emma couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh, tilting her head farther back in order to give him more room to work with as she stretched her lethargic limbs.

“You awake, love?” Killian whispered against her ear before giving it a loving bite. Emma couldn’t help the shiver that ran down her spine.

“No,” she replied breathily, her answer coming out almost like a faint sigh as she instinctively pushed back against him. Heat curled low in her belly as she felt him hard against her.

“Oh really?” He chuckled darkly, giving the hollow behind her ear extra attention. She bit her lip at the move, holding back a moan. It was her weakness and he knew it. He knew all of her weaknesses, just as she knew he seemed to have an affinity for waking her up to have sloppy, lazy, sleepy sex. So much for fearsome pirate. “Should I wake you up?”

“What time is it?” She asked, ignoring his teasing question. She squinted her eyes to look at the clock located on the walnut dresser in the corner of the room. It took more strain than usual and Emma was quite sure that she was going to have to get her glasses prescription updated again. Though she was completely on board with any naughty plans Killian was plotting, they had three little ones to worry about who might be up and about, and totally willing to barge in on Mommy and Daddy fun time. They seemed to have a sixth sense for when they were about to do some nefarious pillaging and plundering, especially Beth. She had the worst track record of them all. Emma couldn’t wait for them to be enough old to understand the meaning behind a closed door.

“Too late and too early for any little pirates to be up and about,” he responded, the hand on her hip slowly trekking lower under it reached its destination in the apex between her thighs.

She winced a bit at the intrusion, not entirely prepared for it. He paused and nudged aside the strap of her tank top to place an apology kiss on her bare shoulder blade. He waited a moment before making a movement that Emma could only describe as an inquiry on whether or not to proceed. She left out a sigh and nodded, snaking an arm around his neck to pull him closer and teasing her fingers along his hairline.

“Famous last words” Emma responded as her words were slightly muffled against her pillow. Her breath to hitched on the last syllable as Killian did something particularly clever with his fingers. She felt him chuckle against her neck.

“No need to worry, I personally checked to make sure all our little ones are off in dreamland. We’ve had far too many interruptions…” Killian said, pulling away his hand.

Before Emma could make a comment about not delivering after working her up, he rolled her onto her back and looked down at her with a half-lit smirk in the dim light of the television muted in the background. There was a hint of his own sleepiness in the half-hearted pull of his lips and the heaviness in his eyelids. His hair was a complete mess; not in the artful styled mess he loved to sport, but an honest to god rat’s nest in need of some serious damage control. He looked ridiculous and it wasn’t possible for her to love him more than she did in this moment.

The way he put his fingers in his mouth was more absent-minded than actually seductive and Emma was a little annoyed when he chose to wipe his wet digits brusquely against her tank top. Slowly, he half-covered her with a clumsy movement that had his elbow jabbing sharply into her ribs causing her to hiss in displeasure. The man normally had more finesse this, but any real complaints Emma had were erased when his lips capture hers in a needy kiss.

His hand roamed the length of her body, his touch a bit too brief and fast for her liking. Killian’s fingers curled around the hem of her tank top, slowly pulling it up and exposing her stomach to the stale air of their bedroom. Immediately, Emma’s hand found his and gently detached the shirt from his grasp and taking his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together.

“It stays on,” she whispered against his lips as she broke their kiss. “We really cannot afford it.”

He made a soft noise of frustration and squeezed her hand, obviously not happy with her decision but trying not to make too much of a big deal out of it.

“They’re asleep, love…” Killian replied with a sigh, giving her bottom lip a quick nip. The little bite lasted less than a millisecond, but the dull sting it left behind lingered.

“But how often do they stay asleep, Killian? Our kids and sleep aren’t the best of friends,” she replied with a roll of her eyes. “I’m not having the boys walk in here and ask why Mommy is naked.”

“It would make for a perfect life lesson. They need to learn about how they got here at some point,” Killian replied, focusing his attention now on her neck; lips soft and teeth grazing. He wasn’t being the most careful at the moment and Emma wrinkled her nose in slight pain when he bit a little too hard near her collarbone. She was definitely going to have to invest in a scarf tomorrow.

“Easy with the teeth there, tiger,” Emma admonished him, carding her free hand through his hair and scrapping her fingernails against his scalp in emphasis. “I’m pretty sure I married Captain Hook, not Count Dracula.”

“Apologies,” Killian murmured, nuzzling his nose against the prominent line of her collarbone and placing a brief kiss at the base of her throat.

He then moved downward, nose making a beeline against her bare skin towards the clothed valley of her breasts. He buried his face between them, placing another kiss against the side of her left breast. He laid there briefly, looking up at her up at her with sleepy blue eyes and Emma felt a sense of tenderness grow between them in this brief interlude. She ran her fingers through his hair, smiling softly at him. He closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into her touch.

“I love you,” she said quietly, her fingers grazing the line of his hair.

“And I you,” he responded, cracking a blue eye open to meet her gaze for moment before continuing with his ministrations. Emma felt his strands of his hair slip away and out of the reach of her fingers as he moved to cover her clothed left breast with his mouth; tongue circling over her nipple and sucking vigorously until it tightened under the attention. He was going to leave a massive wet spot on her shirt, probably with the intention that ruining it would led to her taking it off.

Weaving her fingers back into his hair, Emma gently tugged his head away from her chest and back to her mouth for an earnest kiss. Killian sighed softly across her mouth, nose rubbing against hers as he tilted his head to seek a better angle. His hand found her neglected breast and gently began to knead it, thumb swiping over her nipple.

“As wonderful as that is I think your full and prompt attention is needed elsewhere, Captain,” Emma murmured, rolling her hips against his. Killian chuckled, a dark and dirty sound that rumbled in his chest as he made his descent down her body. He paused for a moment over her abdomen, pulling up the shirt to place kisses along her navel before looking up at her from beneath his lashes.

“Then my full and prompt attention is what you shall receive, milady. Can’t have you complaining that I’ve neglected you, now can I?” he asked rhetorically as his lips proceeded to tour lower on her stomach until they reached the line of her admittedly not-sexy utilitarian underwear.

He placed a few open mouthed wet kisses along elastic before tugging the waistband between his teeth and slowly beginning to drag them down, looking up at her with a heated gaze as he did so. Emma couldn’t help but bite her lip and think about back on their first meeting little more than a decade ago now when he had pulled a scarf tight around her wound during their search for the golden compass. Never in a million years had the woman who had climbed the beanstalk have imagined that she would get hitched to Captain Hook, have three children with aforementioned captain and would allow him to have quiet sneaky sex with her in hopes of not waking the kids on the regular.

Of course, as luck would have it, the universe didn’t seem to be on board with her husband removing her granny panties with his teeth because at that moment, the door creaked open and light spilled into the room, followed by a dark specter that jumped onto the bed and took form in the shape of their dog Black Spot. Immediately Killian dropped the elastic from his teeth and swore violently as Black Spot proceeded to lick him across the ear. The sound of girlish giggles emitted from the doorway. Both Killian and Emma turned their attention to towards the opened door to see their youngest standing there with a delighted grin and a wild mane of sleep tussled dark hair. Beth, dressed in an overlarge shirt decorated with a giant glittery pink shark, gave them a tiny little grin as she clung to the wood paneling. Killian groaned in disappointment and dropped his head against Emma’s abdomen.

“What are you doing up, kid?” Emma asked her daughter, tugging Killian up from his questionable placement on her stomach and pulling the duvet back over them. Beth was far too young to get the implications of what had been occurring before she interrupted, but she’s not taking any chances especially with a goddamn wet spot on her boob.

Black Spot followed Killian, stepping over Emma’s lap in order to continue giving her husband a tongue bath. Emma winced slightly as her paw jabbed into her leg painfully. The damn dog was in love with her husband despite Killian’s reluctance to let the big black mutt into their home. She seemed determined to give Killian as much affection as she could. Killian pushed the dog away, obviously very aggravated and not willing to put with the extra attention from her.

“I couldn’t sleep and Blackie looked so sad and lonely trapped outside your door so I let him in,” Beth explained, leaning against the doorframe and running her hand along the wood; a restless tick that Emma knew she inherited from her.

“Betrayed by the fruit of my own loins,” Killian muttered under his breath in irritation. Emma turned to stare at him in disbelief, elbowing him sharply in the ribs in reprimand.

“Shut up!” Emma hissed. She glanced back at Beth in order to make sure she hadn’t heard Killian’s bellyaching. The five-year little girl merely looked at them in slight confusion.

“You were just asleep when I checked in on you, minnow,” Killian commented, hand running over his jaw as he regarded their daughter. Though he had don’t excellent job of keeping his frustration out of his tone, it’s quite clear from the look on Killian’s face that he’s agitated at being interrupted for what seemed like the fifth time in the past month. Three of those five times, it had been Beth too coming in and putting a halt on all “marital duties” as her mother had adeptly taken to calling sexual acts when the terms “pancakes” and “tacos” got a little too much for them. (Nothing amused Killian more than Emma straight up calling it “fucking” in front of Snow and thus flustering her mother.) The number of instances that led to Killian and Emma privately nicknaming their daughter “Beth the Boner Killer.”

“I woke up and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I don’t like the new room. It’s too dark and scary,” Beth replied, looking at them both with bright, innocent green eyes. “And I stay with you?”

Emma sucked on her teeth at the request. She knew it was coming. They had recently moved Beth out of the nursery room, which was far too small for her and moved her into Wes’s old room after they had refurbished the attic into a serviceable bedroom for their younger son. Wes, thrilled with having a “special cool bedroom”, hadn’t even put up a protest at leaving his old space while Beth had dragged her heels and protested in every possible way. She was not pleased with her “big girl room” in the slightest and had refused to fall asleep in there. More often than not, she would try to sleep on the couch and Killian would have to carry her up to her room to put her to bed.

“Minnow, you have your own room and your own big bed where you don’t have share any blankets,” Killian responded with a heavy sigh, obviously trying to ignore the power of Beth’s large doe eyes. He was weak against them. Emma knew it. Killian knew it. Both suspected the five-year old herself knew it.

“But I don’t like it, Daddy! I want to sleep with you!” their daughter exclaimed, lip trembling and foot stamping. Oh god, Hurricane Elizabeth was starting up again. Emma had absolutely no patience to deal with a tantrum at the moment.

“Get in,” Emma sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. There was no way to recapture the moment, not when Beth had let the dog in and said mutt was disinclined to leave Killian alone. Even if they had successfully managed to put Beth back to bed, Emma was not going to get off with the damn dog watching. Might as well let the little princess get what she wanted.

“Swan…” Killian whined, completely unhappy with the turn of events.

“Killian…” Emma replied, warning underlying her tone.

Beth’s eyes lit up and she wasted no time jumping on the bed and burrowing herself between her parents with a happy hum. Killian flopped backwards as well, but distinctly lacking the same enthusiasm as their daughter. He placed his left forearm over his eyes and groaned again. Emma rolled her eyes. Drama queen.

“What’s wrong with Daddy?” Beth asked in a mock whisper.

“Daddy is just a little cranky because you woke him up when you let Blackie in,” Emma responded, running her hand through her daughter’s long hair. It was a snarled mess and riddled with split ends. Emma made a mental note to set up an appointment with the hair dresser in order to get it cut. The boys could use a trim too. Harrison’s hair seemed to grow at an alarming rate and had a habit of curling over his ears.

“Oh,” she replied with all the wisdom of a small child. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“You’re forgiven,” Killian replied, his arm still covering his eyes.

“What’s going on?” Wes called blearily, leaning against the door frame in almost the same manner as his sister had. He was rubbing the sleep from his eyes with hand and fisted his covet anchor blanket with the other. His hair was almost as wild as Killian’s, but its light color seemed to hold a faint glow in the light of the hallway. He was wearing a pair of button-up duckie pajamas that Emma’s parents had gotten him for Christmas, which Emma was somewhat amused to note that half of the buttons were undone on the top. Like father, like son.

“Nothing,” Killian responded a little too shortly, leaning back up to give their son a stern look. “What are you doing up? Does no one in this house sleep?”

“I told you, Killian, your kids don’t sleep. Sleep and them are just not friends,” Emma responded with a shake of her head, continuing to play with Beth’s hair in hopes of making it somewhat manageable. A fool’s errand, but as the Savior, it was her duty to at least try to ensure the tangled mop found a happy ending.

“My kids? Just my kids, are they now Swan?” Killian asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

“When they’re causing trouble, yes they are,” Emma replied, planting a kiss on Beth’s head. “But I can take them back when they’re being good if that’s okay with you.”

“Okay, stop being gross,” Wes blanched, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “But your grossness doesn’t explain what Princess is doing in bed with you…”

This was a rather new development, Wes calling Beth ‘Princess’ and by the inflection of his tone, it wasn’t meant to be flattering. Beth tightened her hold on Emma’s tank top and glared at her older brother, emphasizing her response by sticking out her tongue at him. Emma sighed.

“Can we leave the ridiculous rivalry for a time that’s not three in the morning?” she asked them both wearily. “And to answer your question, your sister couldn’t sleep because she’s apparently not comfortable with her new room and wants to sleep with us.”

“But what if I can’t sleep and want to stay with you guys?” Wes asked, giving them a pouty look.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Killian muttered under his breath low enough that only Emma could hear before raising his voice. “Then you suck it up and sleep in your own bed like the big boy that you are. You’re seven years old, lad. You’re too big to be finding comfort in your parents’ bed.”

“Killian!” Emma hissed again, giving him another smack. Honestly sometimes she wasn’t sure if she had married a centuries old pirate or somehow awkwardly adopted a ridiculous man-child. He was worse than the kids sometimes and he was taken this disgruntled mood of his too far. “He’s seven!”

“Aye, your point?” Killian arched an eyebrow. “When I was seven, I was sleeping on my own in the dark on Silver’s ship. I can tell you that I certainly wasn’t looking to be climbing into anyone’s bed.”

“We are not raising our children in relation to your experiences as a slave,” Emma whispered back at him harshly, all tiredness gone and replaced with a mixture of irritation for husband and a fierce protectiveness for her children. Why he thought using his suck ass childhood as an example of what her kids should be doing went beyond all logic. If anything, both of their experiences were fine examples of what not to do with children.

Beth watched the exchange between them with mild fascination, green eyes volleying between both parents like ping pong balls. She left Emma’s side to curl up against Killian like a cat, rubbing her head against his chest. Killian stiffened and looked down at her in surprise, all sternness and agitation leaving him.

“Don’t be mad, Daddy. Just snuggle. Sleepies and snuggles,” Beth stated, closing her eyes and pretending to sleep.

“Beth’s got the right idea,” Emma snickered. “Wes, get in here and help us give Dad a cuddle so he stops being a cranky bastard.”

Beth, still pretending to sleep albeit in a poor fashion, giggled and burrowed herself further in his side. Despite the arm that subconsciously curled itself around Beth’s tiny form, Killian gave his wife an impatient look that made it clear he was less than happy with this “cuddling” idea.

“Sure, let them all pile in bed with us! The more, the merrier until there’s no room for anyone,” Killian replied sarcastically. “Hell, what don’t we wake Harrison up and just have a massive party in Mommy and Daddy’s bed despite the fact we painstakingly took the time to ensure they had nice big wonderful rooms with their own beds that they don’t have to share with anyone.”

“That’s a great idea!” Wes responded with a wicked grin. “I’ll go get him!”

Killian let out a defeat sigh as Wes scurried down the hall, no doubt in hopes of waking the eldest and only slumbering Jones boy. Emma gave him an unimpressed look and shook her head at him in disapproval, reaching over to once more caress Beth’s hair.

“You should know better than to play the sarcasm game with that one,” she drawled.

“Trust me, I regret that one,” Killian responded, resigning himself to the fact that he was going to be stuck with three kids and a dog alongside his wife in their marital bed. Tonight had gone nowhere like he had hoped. Emma knew the feeling but she was willing to let go of her disappoint in order to just be content with their kids.

Wes soon returned with Harrison in tow. The elder boy was being all but dragged by his younger brother and looked completely confused as to why he was being pulled into his parents’ room. Emma noted absently that his sleepwear was flirting with his navel and that he was in dire need of a new set of clothes…again. The kid was growing at alarming rate; faster than a weed.

"What's going on?" Harrison yawned.

"We're having a slumber party, now get in!" Wes said, seemingly delighted with bossing around his older brother.

Wes all but pushed Harrison onto Emma’s side of the bed before pulling himself in after him. The rushed movements of course caused Emma and Beth to be pushed rather suddenly into Killian’s side, thus forcing both him and the dog off the bed. Killian landed on the floor with a loud thud while Black Spot yelped. Emma looked over the ledge in mild concern while the three Joneses giggled. Killian groaned and slumped against the hard wood with a look that was equal parts exasperated and defeated.

“You okay?” Emma asked with a frown.

“No,” he replied. “But I’ll be okay…on the couch downstairs.”


End file.
